World of Wedding

"First Date Flowers" always feels like over-kill. I would feel like a real ass bringing flowers to her door when I hardly know her; especially because I minimize phone contact. Depending on the woman, flowers can send a message that you are desperately trying any "romance" tactic you have read about in a novel -- or worse yet, in an on-line "tip" e-mail group.

Instead I bring the "mini-bouquet."

Buy Montreal flowers -- you probably want to buy a couple of the $4 deals at the store. If she asks, it's risky to have to tell her you picked them from the neighbor's yard -- or near some weeds at the laundromat. Next, select about 5 various tiny ones and bunch them together. Tie them together with thin ribbon in a bow (it won't work without the ribbon). The whole thing should be no longer than 2 1/4 inches.
Keep them in your pocket.

When the time is right present them to her sincerely. Don't use them to fix the mood. Use them when you think the mood has peaked. If it is a dinner date, I often do this while we are waiting to be seated. (Many times women feel most "womanly" during this period because you are playing the male role of arranging dinner. She will wait passively and watch you handle confidently the situation -- watching you provide for her.)

Depending on your attire (coat pockets are the best -- but summer is hot), you will be trying to unload these babies before they get completely demolished in your pocket. Choose robust flowers -- check on their state periodically to determine their decay rate. Don't be afraid to just ditch them if the opportunity doesn't arise (which means the date is going sucky anyway), but even mangled flowers will do the trick.

It's the effort and surprise. There is something sexy about not giving them gifts right away in the evening -- providing them as though you are not in a hurry to unload them hints at an "endless supply of provisions occurring at regular intervals" -- (the female need -- something about caring for offspring -- but we'll leave that for another discussion).

She will be able to leave them out on the table to look at, without drawing embarrassing attention from strangers. Also, she will take them home in her purse, and reflect on them later (points while you're not even around).

I guess I don't recommend giving the whole bunch of flowers at the end of the evening. Once I strongly hinted at this while dropping her off, by mentioning the major flower bunch was in my trunk and needing water. She ignored the hint -- content with the mini-bouquet.

Instead put them up in your own house. Flowers are nice to look at; plus it spruces up any bachelor pad -- even if they are 6 months dead. Girls always ask who they were from -- depending on how much you are willing to spin the truth, I would say, "I bought them."